Summer boys
by thecaffeinatedwriter
Summary: Last summer, Dante taught Ari how to swim. This summer, he taught him how to kiss a boy. And next summer? Well, they might even discover the secrets of the universe. Continuation of the story, starts right where the book left off as Aristotle and Dante begin venturing into their new relationship.
1. I'm afraid of you, Dante

How could I have ever been ashamed of loving Dante Quintana?

He squeezed my hand. "What changed, Ari?" His voice was quivering.

I looked at him, I looked at his perfect face. Even in the night it still seemed to me that there was no darkness in him.

"I guess my parents decided that there were already enough secrets in the family," I smiled, "also I guess my mom was tired of me moping around"

He laughed. "Wow, Ari moping around? You must really like me"

"Smartass."

We were both grinning. I felt as if the air was lighter. Dante's love was not heavy, not anymore. Dante's love was so beautiful and real and raw. I didn't have to carry it because if felt as if it was that very love the one that kept me going. But still, I remembered, how could I ever forget? I could see his face after they beat him. Just thinking about it brought tears to my face. But I couldn't cry, not now. I couldn't cry because this was new and good. This was what it was meant to be ever since the moment I met him. Still I guess my body betrayed me. "Why are you crying, Ari?"

"It's nothing."

Dante bit his lip, "I don't believe you."

"That's fine with me."

"Ari."

"Dante."

" _Ángel_ ," he said in a ridiculous Mexican accent.

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. "What was _that?_ "

"Nothing," he blushed, "I was just trying something out." He tucked his head between his knees and let go of my hand.

"Hey," I took his hand, "I liked it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was cute." I kissed him, "it was also really funny."

"Shut up." He said with a soft kiss that seemed to linger in the air for a second longer than expected.

We were both quiet for a moment, I took his hands and traced every line in his palms. He did the same. I thought about my parents, how they had known secrets that I had kept even from myself. Mostly I thought about my mom, how strong she was. I thought about her toughness and her tears, I loved those tears. I wondered if I could love my dad's tears as much as I loved my mother's. Maybe one day, maybe one day I could get used to them. If he kept showing them to like he had done as he hugged me earlier. Nothing had ever felt as real as those tears. In that moment, right there in his arms, I felt like I mattered. And no one had ever made me feel that way before, except maybe Dante.

"You said I scared you," Dante studied my face, "you said you were afraid of me."

"Is that I question?"

"I guess not, it's more of a remark-"

"So? Just ask, Dante."

He bit his lip, "Why are you afraid of me, Ari?"

"I don't know if I'm still afraid of you, Dante," he bit his lip, "I guess you're just so-"

"So what?"

"I don't know Dante, you're just so weird," and I smiled, "weird in a good way I mean"

He laughed, I got to thinking that I could just sit with him and listen his laughter all night. All day. All summer. No school for the rest of my life just listening to Dante laugh.

"It's getting a bit late," Dante said, "Ari, I really don't wanna leave here but-"

"Our parents will worry."

"Yeah, my mom already gave me shit last time."

"I thought that was because of the weed."

"Yeah, that too."

"Well," I adjusted my mirrors, "let's go."

He kept talking the whole ride, about the stars, about his parents, about my parents, about the desert, about how I was a better kisser than Daniel. I'm not kidding, he actually said that.

"I'm just saying Ari," he replied at my disbelief, "it's the truth. Oh, my god. You're blushing, Ari."

" _Okay,_ Dante." I could feel my face heating up. But I wouldn't touch it, not in a million years would I admit to Dante that he could make me blush. What would he do with that particular piece of information. "Anyways, I was thinking we could get some _menudo_ on the way home. Just takeout."

"Takeout _menudo?_ Isn't that a crime here in El Paso?" he asked. "Won't it get cold?"

"Of course it'll get cold, Dante," I squeezed his hand as we were looking for a spot to park on Alameda, "maybe we can find a phone."

"Sounds like a plan."

"How did it go, Ari?" my mom's voice asked on the phone.

"It was fine mom-" I hesitated for a moment, "we are having menudo, I'll tell you what happened if you let me stay here."

"Okay, Ari," I could tell she was smiling, "but I'll want all the details."

"Am I ever going to be able to stop you from hovering?"

"No, I'm your mom and, Ari?"

"Yeah, mom?"

"I love you, _mi amor._ "

I hung up the phone, there was a light drizzle and when I turned around, there he was. Dante grinning like he was a little kid. He opened the door for me and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So how did it go with your mom?" he asked, looking at the menu even though we both knew it by heart.

"Fine, she says she wants all the details."

"Well, you won't give her _all_ the details, right?"

"Oh I'm definitely telling her about how you called me _Ángel_ ," I mocked him, "I'm kidding, Dante. But she's getting pretty good at getting information from me."

"My parents agreed, but they got pretty suspicious," he fiddled with his fingers, "I swear my mom can read me just by listening to my voice."

"What about your dad?"

"You know my dad, he told me to go get it-"

"He told you to go what?"

"Well, not in those words exactly but," he trailed off, "he did say that- I don't know if I should tell you, Ari."

I smiled at him and ordered for both of us, the usual: a plate of enchiladas followed by two bowls of menudo. "Oh c'mon, Dante," I wanted to take his hand but it was a busy night in the Good Luck Café so I didn't, "stop teasing me."

" _Okay_ ," he said pretending to be annoyed, "he said, 'it seemed to me that Ari only had eyes for you tonight.'"

I was surprised by Sam, could he really see straight through me? Maybe I wasn't as unknowable as I thought. Dante interrupted my thoughts, "Ari, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Dante."

"Good. Because I was afraid I had creeped you out."

"You didn't. And your dad's right-"

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah, but maybe you can show me again later-" he took my hand, but only for a moment. I guess the memories of the accident were still fresh.

After we finished our plates and payed the check. Which Dante insisted in covering, "I can't let you pay for our first date." I muttered something about this not being a real date and he replied that for all we knew that moment was the only real thing in the entire universe. I drove Dante home and stopped in front of his house, it all felt so familiar and yet so new.

"Well, are you coming in?" he asked.

"What?" I was surprised.

"It's just-," he looked at his knees and then back at me, "I have to tell them Ari, I don't wanna tell them by myself."

"I don't know, Dante. It's getting late."

"I get it, Ari. It's just the no secrets rule."

"I thought you were against that rule."

"I was- but I'm over it. Seriously, Ari. I'm done secrets."

"Yeah," I smiled, "I'm over secrets too."

Mrs. Quintana was waiting for us in the front porch. I felt almost as if she knew I was going to stop by. She hugged me tightly and then kissed me on the cheek.

"Is everything okay, Ari?"

Yeah, everything was okay. It was the best that it had been in years. And, suddenly I got it, I wanted them to _know._


	2. The no-secrets rule

Soledad opened the door for us, "Sam? The kids are here." That made me smile, that she called us kids. Not boys or- well I guess it would've been weird to call us men, but still.

"Our boys," said Sam. It wasn't really a question.

"Mom, Dad. I-"

I had never seen Dante at lost for words, but I guess that right then and there, he was. I couldn't stop smiling, I felt like a fool.

"What is it Dante?" said his dad, looking at both of us. I liked how he said his name: "Dante?" I had never heard such certainty in a question, I'm not sure I had ever heard such certainty in a name.

Soledad invited us to the living room, and as we were passing through the door she made a point to touch my arm and wink at me. I'm not even kidding, she actually winked. And for a couple of seconds I could see the girl that lived inside of her, for a couple of seconds I felt as if she already knew what we were going to say.

We sat down, and whatever doubt that had passed through Dante's mind seemed to have vanished because without an ounce of hesitation he said: "Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. But first I want you to promise to not act too smug-"

"Dante," Soledad tried to look stern but she broke into laughter, "Fine."

"Okay." He looked at me and I realized that I hadn't said anything since we arrived.

"Okay," I said not at anyone in particular.

"So," Dante sighed, "Ari and I are…" he looked at me, what exactly were we?

"We're together," I said hoping that they wouldn't need me to elaborate.

They both tried to look surprised, I guess they had already made their own deductions when we went to the desert.

The rest was a blur, Sam awkwardly hugged me and whispered in my ear "I love you, Ari." I wanted to cry, but I didn't. Soledad simply stood there smiling, she hugged us both at the same time, "I'm glad you found each other." I wondered what she meant by that, maybe that was love was about, finding each other. Were we in love? All I knew was that Dante had been ready a long time ago, I hated myself for making him wait. I hated myself for hurting Dante Quintana. Still, after we had all awkwardly embraced each other, it was time for me to go. I excused myself muttering something about my parents waiting for me.

The drive home was quiet. Even with the rain, I liked it. My thoughts no longer tortured me. My mind wandered back to Bernardo. What would he think of this? I didn't think that he would be completely okay with it, but I could pretend. I could imagine a universe in which the years in prison would have changed my brother. It seemed unlikely, but he wasn't there, and as much as that hurt me my brother was not a part of my life anymore. He was a part of my mind, sure. I realized that we didn't know anything about each other anymore. I could write to him, maybe I would.

As I parked I saw my mom and dad, they were holding hands in the porch. I guess that Dante and I were not the only ones into front porches. Mom looked at me, "Ari, you're soaking wet. You better not get sick again"

"Maybe it's a summer tradition."

My dad combed my hair, it was funny this was more of my mom's thing, "Crazy boy."

Yeah, crazy boy. I didn't wanna talk. So, without another word I got into my room. My mom tried to talk but I offered her a smile and she understood. I wanted to keep the details to myself, even if it was just for one night.

She brought me some tea, "Drink it, and tomorrow we'll talk."

"Fascist." We both smiled, it was uncomplicated.

What I didn't expect was my dad walking into my room first thing in the morning. Even before Legs got the chance to wake me up, "Ari, are you awake?"

"I am now."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I have to run with Legs anyways-"

"You work too hard."

"I don't work anymore, dad."

He laughed, "You have the rest of your life to do that."

"Yeah," I looked at him "what is it, Dad?"

"Do I need a reason to talk to my own son?"

"No, but it's not really our thing."

"Talking?"

"Yeah, talking." Legs came into the room but she was quiet, like she knew what was happening.

"Your mother thinks it should be," he sat in my bed, "you know her, the fascist."

We both laughed, maybe we could be uncomplicated too.

"So," he said, "may I join you?"

"Join me?"

"Running, Ari."

Running? My father wanted to go running with me? "If you can keep up with Legs."

"I think I'll manage."

He was a surprisingly good runner. After a while, we stopped near a park, there were some sparrows flying in the sky, I could hear the chirping of some baby sparrows. I thought about Dante.

"So, it rained last night." He was playing dumb.

Two could play that game, "Yeah, still, you and mom were in the porch."

"We were waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Because-" he looked around, as if the park would tell him what to say.

"Because?" Legs started barking at the trees. "If you want me to answer you'll have to ask, dad."

He scratched his head, "You're just like your mom."

"Fine," he said, "you were out with Dante-"

I did not like were this was going, "I've been out with Dante a million times before."

"True," he shook his head, "but when you came home you could hardly stop smiling."

I wanted to hide under a rock.

He hung his head, "when I met your mother I couldn't think straight for weeks. Hell, she still makes my head spin."

"Dad-" I couldn't look at him.

"Yes, Ari?"

"You might want to know that," I trailed off, "it went well. With Dante, it was good." It felt like such a terrible understatement. But if I had thought that keeping a journal was embarrassing this was humiliating.

"I'm glad."

When I stepped into the house, my mom was laughing on the phone. I would have expected to be talking with one of her church friends or a family member. But as soon as she noticed us she said: "Okay, Soledad. We'll talk later, right?"

"Good morning, Ari."

"Was that Dante's mom?"

"I'm happy to see you too," she teased, "Yes, that was Soledad. We talk."

"I'm not sure I like it."

She smiled, "Do you want some coffee?"

"I should go shower-"

"C'mon. Humor your mom. You still owe her a story."

My dad left, leaving us alone. For some reason, I did tell her. Not _all_ the details but there was a part of me that actually wanted to talk. I was different. Maybe my mom's phase theory wasn't that far off from the truth after all.

When I was done, she hugged me tightly. "You're a beautiful boy." I wanted to believe her, so I tried to. Maybe that was all I needed, I needed to try.

"Now," she combed my hair, "say hi to Dante for me, will you?"

"Dante?" I asked.

"Aren't you going to go see him?"

"I guess I am."

"Okay, Ari." There was something about her voice. I could tell she was happy. I liked making my mother happy, but come to think about it, my happiness was the one that seemed to excite her the most. I loved my mom, I loved her for she was and I even loved her for everything she hadn't been. Because I understood. I understood that she didn't talk about my brother because she had forgotten him, but because she never could.

I took a shower and went walking to Dante's house. It was still early so I thought that he would be still asleep. I was wrong, he was waiting for me in his front porch, looking like he had just woken up. Messy hair, wearing pajama pants and no shoes.


	3. Where'd you get all those muscles, Ari?

p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri;""Hi, Ari!" Dante stood up and approached me./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Hello, Dante." We were standing in front of each other, not really knowing what to do. We weren't gonna kiss. Not there, not where people could see us./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""So," he smiled, "you are not here to tell me that you changed your mind, right?" he kept his smile, but I could see the worry behind it. I hated that./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""No, have you?" I said as he leaned into me and gave a kiss in the cheek. Innocent enough. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""We could go swimming." /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I watched Dante start by taking off his pants. I guess I must have started blushing because he said, "you're not gonna make me change someplace else, are you?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""What?" I muttered./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"He laughed, "I just, I guess you look a bit uncomfortable."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I was. Somehow Dante could make me feel self-conscious. Even if I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and he was only wearing a speedo. He could be like that, convince you that the way that he did things was the only way they should be done. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Fine." I started changing and threw my towel over my shoulder. I knew my mom wouldn't approve of this particular towel but she hadn't seen me leave. Or maybe she had. I knew she was trying to let go. To hover less. I wondered if she would ever stop. Maybe she would. Maybe one day I would be the one hovering. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I hated to admit it. But Dante was a better swimmer than I. We started with a few laps to warm up, he said. At one point, I stopped. Not because I was tired, well not entirely because I was tired. But rather, because he looked so perfect. Every stroke looked so intent. That's the thing about Dante, when he did something he threw himself into it. It seemed to me that there was nothing that he wasn't entirely committed to. Except the Mexican thing. He didn't like to be reminded that he was a half-assed Mexican. Dante wasn't half of anything. Sometimes it seemed like he was the entire universe, how beautiful was that? /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" There I was, thinking. I guess I was looking sort of lost because Dante touched my lower back and said, "Hey, I feel like you're not really here. Y'know?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""What are you talking about? 'Course I'm here"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I'm not so sure about that," I could feel his hand drift away. Why was I shivering? "Something my therapist said once."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Your therapist?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah," he looked at me as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle, "after the accident."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""After the accident." I didn't really know why I was repeating his words./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""And in Chicago."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Chicago?" Of course, Chicago. I knew Soledad hadn't left Dante off the hook that easily. But I guess I never thought she would make him go to a counselor in Chicago too./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah, Chicago." He looked away. "Anyways, she called that dissociating."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I looked at him blankly./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""It's when you go away in your mind," he said as a matter of the fact. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah, I do that sometimes."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""We all do, Ari. Anyways she was sort of sketchy."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"We both laughed, I remembered the day we met. That day felt so far away, and yet there was a certain beauty to how much everything had changed and how much of it stayed the same. Dante's ability to make me laugh for once, had remained the same. Maybe that would never change./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"As we got off the pool, I noticed him staring at me. "What?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""What?" he grinned, "I'm allowed to stare now."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dammit, could he make me blush./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Oh, c'mon Ari. Relax."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I emam /emrelaxed."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""You're not. Anyways, it's not like I ever stopped. I just did it more discreetly, or at least I tried to." He looked at me. "After Chicago it got really hard. Because, Ari, you really emdid /emwork out. I remember wondering where had you gotten all those muscles-"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Okay fine," I said maybe a little too harshly./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dante tried really hard not to laugh, but he wasn't the kind of person to stop himself from feeling. There was a special bravery in him, his complete refusal to become numb. Dante took the blows, he didn't care. Or perhaps he cared too much. Was there really much difference?/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Finally, we were heading home, or to his home rather. I had a feeling that I was going to be around much more often. Mr. Quintana greeted us from his studio, "Ari, are you staying for lunch?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dante looked at me. "Well, are you?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I…," I wasn't sure why I was hesitating, it seemed to me like this was different. The first time since we told them. All of the sudden I got very embarrassed, I mean, what kind of guy did I think I was? The Quintanas were so nice to me and I didn't know what I had ever done to deserve their affection, "I don't think I am, sorry. I have to get back home."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dante looked into my eyes. I saw the hurt in his. I couldn't handle it./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I started to run. Not sure where I was headed. I remembered the word that Dante had taught me emdisassociation. /emIt seemed to me like that was the exact opposite of what I was feeling. I didn't feel like I was outside my body, I felt like I was maybe too much inside it. I thought that maybe Dante would know the word for that too. Maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe there was no word. I didn't notice that I had already ran way past my home. The trees seemed unfamiliar, how much time had I been running? I sat down, feeling the hard concrete under me. I tried to breathe, I closed my eyes. I remembered the accident. I remembered how I had both of legs in casts. I remembered how closing my eyes was the only I could do to try and calm down the itching. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Breathe. I kept repeating that to myself, again and again and again and again. I noticed that my nails were digging into my palms, I unclenched my fists. I took another deep breath. I opened my eyes. There were birds flying in the sky, sparrows. Dante would love to see them. He would probably say something beautiful. I didn't think that I could ever say anything as beautiful the things he said. Maybe I was not meant for beauty. Maybe I could be someday. Someday. I don't know how much time I spent there. I only know that when I finally found my way home my mom was sitting in out front porch. Talking with none other than Dante Quintana. /p 


	4. Nothing interesting ever happens to him

p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Inadequate. That's exactly how I felt as their eyes studied me. It occurred to me in that moment that maybe running away from Dante's home after being asked to stay for lunch might not have been the wisest decision. I couldn't explain it, not to myself, not to anyone. Fear. That was the only word that I could relate to, the word that I had become. I felt my mother's eyes studying me. "Don't do that."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Do what?" my mother asked. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I can tell you're studying me."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Ari, I think-" I could tell she was trying./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""It's okay, mom. I get it."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dante interrupted us, "Damn, Ari, I didn't know you were so averse to lunch."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"We all laughed, and for a second, it felt as though nothing had happened at all. It felt as though we could spend all eternity just laughing. Laughing with Dante./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Okay," I said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Okay what, Ari?" my mother looked at me./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I don't know, mom," I made myself look at Dante and he looked back at me, "I freaked out. I don't know why. But I did. Mom? I still don't get how you can love me so much." I had no idea why I had said that in front of Dante./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""How could I not?" she smiled. "Crazy boy."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah," Dante said, "you emare /emcrazy. But it's part of your charm."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"And we all laughed again./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"After having some coffee that I couldn't believe he had accepted, Dante excused himself, "I have to go to the pool. Can you believe that? I get to say that, Ari. I can finally swim again!"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Be careful, Dante." My mother said. I guess Dante would have to deal with two moms too./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Of course, Lili," he said and then smiled at me, "see you later?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"emYeah Dante, see you later./em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"em /em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I took a shower, I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried to see myself through Dante's eyes, through my mother's eyes. I wished I could be the boy that they both seemed to love. I felt as if I was ready to conquer the world. Well, for a second I felt as if I was ready to conquer the world, then my mom called me:/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Ari, Gina and Susie are here!" Dammit, those girls got their intel fast./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I'm coming!" And there they were, two pretty girls looking at me expectantly, how could I ever think I could get rid of them?/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Well, Ari," Gina said, "you've gotten are even more of a hunk now than you at were the start of the summer."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Nice to see you too, Gina." I smiled./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Hi, Ari." Susie smiled, she was a sweet girl, "how are you?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I looked at them, as if daring them to ask something in front of my mom./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Why don't you take us for a drive?" Gina suggested./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"We didn't talk about anything significant at first, I guess we were all avoiding. "Where do you want me to take you?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I don't know," Gina smiled and then she let her smile turn into a grin, "where do emyou /emwant to take us, Ari?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""We could go to the pool," Susie said, trying as hard as possible to sound casual./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Two could play that game, "what pool? Besides we don't even have our swimsuits."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Memorial pool," Gina said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I pulled over./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Gina, what are you onto?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Susie looked worried, so I tried to soften the look on my face. They were good girls, girls who liked to gossip, but they were good./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Charlie Escobedo saw you in the pool with that cute boy from the drugstore," Susie sputtered and Gina looked at her raising her eyebrows./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Dante?" What was that emvato/emeven doing at the pool?/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah." Gina was studying me./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"The street lanes were empty. It was a Sunday afternoon and I truly felt like we were the only people in the whole world. I kinda wished Dante were there, he would surely answer all of their questions. But he was swimming, and I was stuck with two curious girls who wouldn't leave me alone./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Fine," I said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Fine what, Ari?" she asked./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"And then I turned to Susie, "to Memorial pool."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"And just like I expected, Dante was there. He was actually coming out of the pool, rubbing his head with a towel and looking so incredibly beautiful. I couldn't believe I had let myself thought that. I remembered what Dante said, emI'm allowed to stare now./em/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Wow," Susie said, "he emis /emhot."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""He is," I said. I surprised even myself. But it felt right. Maybe this could be uncomplicated, at least with them./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""We're happy for you, Ari." Gina looked as if she was about to hug me./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"She didn't, but they were both smiling. They were happy. They were happy for emme./emAnd I was happy too. Dante approached us, "hi, Ari!"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"He stopped himself from standing too close to me, he looked at them./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Nice to see you, Dante," Gina said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""So, what brings you here?" I could tell Dante was uncomfortable. He was afraid, and I got that. I got the fear, even if Gina and Susie were nice. Even if they were my friends. Even if they seemed so natural. There was still something stopping Dante from being himself. It pained me, the Dante I met that summer day in that very pool could never be anything less than himself. Perhaps one day it wouldn't have to be like this. Perhaps one day./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"I didn't know how to explain to him that it was okay. emIt's okay Dante, they know, they know about us. /emWhat did emus/emmean? I guess I would have to figure that out. No. emWe /emwould figure that out. Suddenly, I got an idea. "We were planning on taking a drive to the desert," I said, "wanna come?"/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""We were?" Susie asked and Gina elbowed her on her ribs./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah, Dante. You in?" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"He accepted./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"We all got in my truck. Dante looked at me puzzled. Still, I could tell he was enjoying it./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""So… What are we doing in the desert?" Dante asked./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I don't know." I realized in that moment that I hadn't actually planned anything after asking Dante to come./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""We'll figure it out when we get there," Gina said. /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah, I guess we will."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Gina said that any good road trip needed good music. I responded that this wasn't really a road trip. And Dante argued that we were on a road, going somewhere, so technically it emwas /ema road trip. I didn't like how those two were starting to get along./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Ugh," I could tell Gina wasn't actually mad, "you don't have any good music, Ari."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Whatever, Gina."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Dante, you emneed /emto instill some good music taste in Ari."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dante laughed, he really laughed. "Yeah, maybe I should."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Hey," I said, "I thought you were supposed to be on my side."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I have an idea," Susie said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I'm not sure I like that," I said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Well, Ari," Gina looked at me very seriously, "things are gonna change."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""What things, Gina?" she was teasing me and I was teasing her back./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""All sorts of things." Dante was beginning to get comfortable with them./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Anyways," Susie looked at all of us. I wasn't sure if she was upset. "I think we should play truth or dare."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Yeah, let's do that." Gina was almost jumping up and down./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"Dante was looking at me, at this point it was almost clear that Gina and Susie knew about us and were cool. Almost. But still. I knew that the Dante before being beat up in an ally wouldn't have been afraid. I guess things emwere/emgonna change, they had already changed./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""But what fun would that be?" I tried to talk them out of it./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Oh yeah, Ari. Because nothing interesting ever happens to you." Susie said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"We all laughed, except for Dante who didn't understand./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Oh c'mon, Ari. Live a little." Gina said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""I think it would be fun." I couldn't believe what Dante had just said./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;"And I don't know why I said it, I guess I just liked making Dante happy./p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;""Okay."/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri; text-align: justify;" /p 


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